Dear 2013

Dear 2013,

As you come to an end, I look back positively at all the events of life that  took place. Last to last year, I had written a certain resolutions for myself just for fun. As far as I can remember, I didn't make them come true. Consequently, I feel, I did not write anything either on a piece of paper or in my mind about the things I would do for you. However, I had a few aims running at the back of my mind.

You have given me all sorts of surprises. I am only more than content with the way events shaped up. Sometimes I let myself led by the moments and sometimes I decided to take them head on. 

As I like writing on paper more than typing it out on the laptop, I have already made a "Bilan" as we call it in French, of you for myself and boy, what a fruitful year you have been! And I could only thank you, my stars and everyone around me who made my world so lovely, exciting, and wonderful through out. 

                                            THANK YOU SO MUCH !!

                                            Lovingly yours,

???

rivers flow,
from melted snow,
do they know where to go?

flowers bloom,
effacing gloom,
do they realize for whom?

birds fly,
high in the sky,
do they ask themselves why?

my mind stirs,
when everything blurs,
raising questions,
seeking all answers!!

do I find 'em?
I don't know.
a few I find here and there,
rest I leave in despair.

                                      My heart goes out to you,

                   When you look deeper into my eyes.

                   A thousand suns, the tidal waves

                   Within me, they rise.

                   I look up to your slightest touch,

                   Frozen heart it melts,

                   The thousand suns rise again,

                   Secret longing, it swells.

                   I take your hand into mine,

                   The thousand suns subside,

                   For we walk along in the moonlit night.

                   As beautiful as a bride.

Delhi Daredevils

Don't go by the title. I am least interested in the IPL team of Delhi, neither am I a great fan of cricket. This story is of all those anonymous daredevils I have seen every time I step out on the streets. Delhi's roads offer them so much space to show their daredevilry.

I am a student. I don't have a car or any vehicle. Thus, I need to take the various forms of public transports. I seldom take buses. I prefer taking metro, however, to reach a metro station, I have no option but to take an autorickshaw and from thereon starts my ordeal on the Delhi roads full of superheroes.

Don't mistake these superheroes for ones who would save your life. They would rather endanger it along with their own. They come in all kinds of machines; cars, autos, buses, trucks, scooters, etc. You imagine a machine and they will be right there in front of you.

Once on the road, they feel they have a complete right to do whatever they have in their heads. Since they are 'super' heroes, which means right above the heroes, beyond any comparison with the lesser mortals like me, they assume they are even above the traffic rules. Or let's just say, no one ever told them about the rules. Or even better, they have their own set of rules.

Rule no 1 : Keep your speed ahead of others. Delhi's heavy traffic jams try to slow them down a bit. But once on a clear road, they move with meteoric speed regardless of whatever the maximum speed limit might be.

Rule no 2 : Keep changing your lanes. No one has ever learned in Delhi to remain in one's own lane. (the minority who have are being overshadowed by these higher beings) It seems, the superheroes have got so much busy in their superheroic deeds that they need to reach instantly to their destinations, that first they speed up and second, they would not mind changing lanes every now and then to the point of being heedless to brush with a vehicle. It does not matter to them anyhow. If in case they do touch someone else's car, they have a knack of overpowering the other by bad mouthing them.

Rule no 3 : Keep a distance of a needle with the previous car while stopping at the traffic lights. Once arriving at the traffic lights, beware of these people. They might be ahead or behind you. They believe in proximity and so they would stop right behind the car in front of them without any space. ( when I was young, while travelling I used to see words like "Don't honk and Keep distance' written on trucks, I think they were at fault, They always meant " Honk and don't keep distance") They might even hit your car from behind. You would obviously remain unaware of these heroes until hit by them.

Rule no 4 : Since each superhero film has an awesome background score, these heroes think that they need to create some music as well. Though what it turns out to be is blatant cacophony. They would annoy you by honking incessantly sometimes, a few times it just pleases to their ears and yet some other times even when not needed, they would oblige you.

Whenever I come on the streets, to be honest, I feel scared by these daredevils who pay no heed to others who are also there on the roads. They would speed up as if they are F1 racers, come as close as crushing your vehicle, change lanes unnecessarily and honk till death. Is there any way out for a commonner , not of a superhero origin like me to feel secured and safe in such a chaos that is DeLHI with its streets?

હું ગમે છે

Travelling is such a delight. More so when you travel to various states of the country. Our country is huge and so is the range of diversity. Each state has something different to offer in terms of culture which is an all inclusive term in itself. This time round, I got a chance to visit Gujarat again. They say it is at its best during Navratri. I had been harbouring this desire for quite a while and at last my wish was fulfilled. Not only did I experience Gujarat's rich culture but I also had an opportunity to relive my past, that is to say, I had a chance to meet my best friend whom I hadn't seen for long. 

Navratri was just an excuse to reminisce about the good old past that we had shared together. Meeting friends does mean a lot of old stories being retold. While all these years have passed by, there are a lot of things that have changed in her and in me but the thing that remains intact even after this time gap is our ability to laugh at anything and everything. Getting together with my friend is always accompanied by bouts of laughter and uncontrollable giggles. She is now almost completely transformed into a Gujarati, at least the way she speaks, no one can deny that she does not hail from the state. 

My friend introduced me to a Gujarati dish mainly eaten on Dussehra. If on the day of Dussehra, you happen to miss the effigy burning of Ravan, it wouldn't affect the Gujaratis as much as missing the typical Fafda Jalebi. No Fafda Jalebi means no Dussehra, so I have been told. One thing I became fond of during my stay is the variation one gets in food items in Gujarati cuisine especially in snacks known as Farsan. Even the variety of Sweet Paan that you would find here is unimaginable. 

It is really fascinating to hear Gujarati language. My friend used to tell me it sounds very desi. After listening to it, I would agree with her completely. It does have a desi feel about it. Being a hindiphone, I did not find it difficult to understand the language except for a few situations where I might have missed out the meanings. Even the script is not that complicated to read.

Food and language were the principal features of my visit. But wait! How can I take the liberty of not mentioning the mesmerizing ambiance of Garba. Navratri is the nine day celebration where people dancebGarba to the tunes of Gujarati songs. Even if you are not on the dance grounds, you would see people all dressed up for the Garba nights on the road. This is enough to give a feel of what it is like to be in Gujarat. In the eveneing, the whole city turns out to be participating in a fancy dress competition or in a costume party. After having roamed around in the streets, if you get a chance to go to the Garba venues, you would remain ecstatic through out. People dancing in groups with their fancy costumes on. A veritable delight is to watch the boys dance with fervour. They dress up in the traditional attire, not all of them, however. They dance on the rhythm of the songs played, enjoying themselves to the core, matching up with the dances steps of the group.    

Once you happen to visit Gujarat during Navratri, you are bound to get addicted to come back again and again for the celebration. It had been amazing fun with my friend, food, fancy dress and foreign to me but a desi language.

                                                      હું ગમે છે

Anne of Green Gables

How did I take so long to meet Anne? But at least now I can lay claims to have met her. She is just so adorable. In the beginning I thought she talked a bit too much and never stopped short of breath. Eventually all the blabbering turned out to be amusing and interesting and that it came from an 11 years old made it all the more enjoyable.

Anne with an 'e' at the end is so full of life. Her vivid imagination is the best that I liked about her. Not a single moment can she remain without drifting away in her dreams and imageries. She has her way with words. At her age, she uses such "big " phrases that keep most of us delighted and pleased with her. 

However, she has her odd ways too. She cannot come clean at anything she does. There has to be some fault committed on her part. Though she claims not to commit any of her errors twice which seems to be so positive that she takes lessons from her past errors. She ,however, never fails to stop committing any. But this is her charm. Even if she has her sets of mistakes, you just can't stop loving her for what she is for she never has any ill intention.

She has found many kindred spirits along her life at Green Gables. After having met her, I had a similar feeling towards her. She enthuses life by her mere presence. She is by far the most cute girl I have ever seen. 

I wonder if I had met her when I was as young as her, would have I liked her then? I feel positive. There is surely something about this Anne-girl!! 

Yesterday at the dinner table was one of those moments when I have felt a great sense of injustice meted out to a few of us without any faults of our own. The girl in front of me was having her dinner quiet peacefully. She touched each and every thing put out on her plate before eating. It was when she touched the cucumber cube to eat that a deep anguish grew within me. I so much wanted her to not only feel what she ate but also see what it looks like, the colour of it. Unfortunately, she might not be able to have a sight of her food items ever. She is visually challenged.

At the very same moment, image of freshly made donuts with sparkling chocolate sauce over it flashed in my head. A few days ago, I had such a craving to have these donuts that LOOK so tempting. I wondered how much the girl has been missing onto in life without her asking for it. Certainly people like her are endowed with other senses : they feel, they taste but alas they can't see.

Merely having a sight of delicious food cheers up spirits sometimes. Today, while having my breakfast, I had a detailed look at my plate. I examined each and every item with its colour, texture, size. And I thanked God not only for giving me food but also for this lovely sight. But it would be so much interesting if everyone of us had beautiful eyes to be able to savour visually the food but the entire world we live in. However, I believe, they have the power of imagination just like Anne of Green Gables. Life is such a gift to us. Let's cherish each and every moment.

I waited for you for a fortnight. Now you have come back . I don't like this hide and seek that you play. But I wonder if you were all the time with me, would I still have the same feelings for you. I know you would remain quite distant from me. This ,however, does not stop me to think about you.

The pleasure that I derive while basking in your company is incomparable. You make me smile when I feel low. Just a glimpse would cheer up my spirit. Such is your strength and such is your spell on me.

When I was young, I thought you followed me everywhere. I would wonder how do you find me where ever I go. But I never got annoyed for even a bit. I liked you as a kid and I like you still and this would remain forever.

I am not jealous while I know you have thousands and millions of admirers. I am sure they are not too. A glance at me and I know we have a special relationship that others might be having with you as well.

O Moon, unimaginable is my life without you!!!

Overcoming fear reveals its beauty !!!

There are so many things we fear in life. They say it's all in your mind. If you let fear creep within, no one else can help you get rid of it. And how true these words are. But they also say, it is better said than done. Well, with me, I can be certain that it would really take a huge effort to overcome my fear. And yet at some point, I can make up my mind so quickly to confront what I fear.

The story begins with a walk towards the east gate of the campus today. I am with a friend. He challenges that it would start raining within 10 minutes. I am not quite convinced with what he thinks. There are grey clouds of lighter hues, coming in from all direction. The breeze has just stopped short of blowing. Every single leaf has stopped its movement. The yellow flowers of the Amaltas trees lay unmoved. And suddenly, the darkest of grey clouds one could have seen, appear above us. The wind starts blowing and the yellow flowers start showering themselves on us. And this is the moment when I feel the small droplets of water on myself. They are intermittent in the beginning. Eventually they come down heavily on us. The much awaited heavy showers in Delhi have finally made their way.

And at once, the mood changes. Everyone around appears so elated. No one is in a hurry to get under a shelter. They are enjoying the rain, so are we. We are getting all drenched under the sky. The drops are more pronounced by now. They are getting into our eyes making it difficult to keep them open. It has been long since I have enjoyed myself under the natural shower. The moment overpowers me. My heart knows no boundaries of ecstasy. I am completely overwhelmed. At this moment, I remember the town I grew up. How beautiful it looked when it rained. Back then, I would enjoy myself watching the rain from my balcony. Such a pleasure it had been during those days and such a delight it is today.

The story does not end here. As I haven't mentioned about the fear I have. I fear lightning. When I was young, it would scare me so much that I would run into the comforting arms of my mom or my sisters . And now that I have grown up, it still scared me until today. Though completely drenched, my friend and I have managed to find a shelter and regard it better to watch the rains from beneath a roof. While it stops raining, we can see some lightning every now and then. At every moment of lightning, my friend admires them, telling me they are just so beautiful. I don't see them as beautiful. It appears that the rain has now stopped. My friend goes out to check if it really has and calls me to join. I go to my friend. We are standing looking upwards to the sky. There is huge ray of light that shots in the sky, I react to it the same way I have done till now in life. A little while later, I tell myself to stop fearing it and face it with calm and courage. I am lucky!! The next time, there is lightning, it is in its full glory. I don't waver. I have kept my calm and it is because of this overcoming of my fear that I can truly admire the glorious lightning that I just saw. It was really BEAUTIFUL!! And I know, next time there is no more fear of lightning but admiration!!

And the dry spell ends!!

All these days, I had no urge to write. Not a single moment moved me and stirred my mind to pen down my thoughts. The dry spell, I hope, has now taken a backseat and what better day than today when Delhi had its first share of heavy rains after such a hot , scorching dry spell. 

My mind had almost become like a dry, parched land with the sun sapping all the creative juices that flowed through it. But the first drop of rains, that seeped and touched every cell of the body, has rejuvenated the dry spirit within. Oh how much we love the rains!

And when the rains settle over for quite sometime, this love tends to take a U turn. We begin to complain how it has been raining cats and dogs. We start praying to God to stop the showers for a while. How we tend to miss our very own Mr Sun whom we had despised a little while ago for unleashing his wrath and now crave for a little glimpse of him. And then, there are the uninvited guests in our rooms all the time. The insects we would have never seen before would make themselves comfortable around us. My God! It's just a beginning and I have already started thinking of all the possibilities that we would be coming across in this season. How much love to complain!!

In summers, oh it's so hot, is the common refrain. When the rains quench our thirst, we get bored of them and look forward to some dry spell. And the phase moves on..

Well, I really love the rains sans the uninvited guests in my room. Today, it was amazing when the heavy downpours drenched the entire city and broke this dry spell. 

Life is a series of events both good and bad, happy and sad, pleasant and grim. This is the ultimate pattern followed in anyone's life. No one state can be eternal. Happiness can't be forever. Same goes with sorrow, it cannot take shelter in one's life infinitely. It is these events and moments that make memories. When you look back at your life, the treasure trove of memories smile at you, the only possession that you inherit.

When I was a kid, an idea, quaint some might call it, used to knock at the door of my mind. I would wonder why God did not have some kind of a video recorder. With this device's aid, we could have access to our past actions, events and moments. On request, at any point of time in our lives, we could avail the facility of watching ourselves, our behaviour towards others, the beautiful moments spent with our loved ones, the bitter experiences. Well, I was really young, so I never thought of man making any kind of a similar device.

After so many years, I still have the same idea finding its way back to my mind. I wonder, if we could register our whole lives' actions in one CD, DVD, or whichever medium, so as to keep them alive. I am certain that there cannot be a recorded version of each and every moment passed, however, people have found out ways to keep afresh their memories through Diaries, Photos, a few videos.

Whatever medium you bring to your use, it is bound to make you happy if after a long time you stumble upon your memories. A smile would not leave your face until you want to stop thinking about it. How I still wish to ask for this service from God, so that I could rewind and relive the moments. 

I open my eyes to a world full of mirth.

Laughter and merriment make their way through.

Get ensconced in that little corner of my heart,

Snug and comfortable.

I close my eyes and 

How I wish they stay forever!

Melancholy and despair

Come next to my heart,

Without even knocking,

They drift their foes apart.

Oh, how quickly they have

Settled down for what seems to be eternity.

Could I not entertain them

And show them their way

I know they are not yet

Ready to call it a day.

My heart is eager more than ever

to have its guests who could stay forever.

Melancholy, despair, mirth and merriment,

All know their ways in and out

If one stays the other has to leave

Though my heart would never believe

How it juggles while

                                                               Emotions varied. 

And when you thought

you had set all things right

a whiff of air

from nowhere

took on you and

subverted your might.

Don't be afraid

of these twists and turns

for they are the ones

that make you churn

deep within and

elicit strength.

Right ahead

is the coveted way

Take it or leave

but make a choice

for this decides

what in the future lay

Unforgettable month of April 2013

It could not have been better than this. The whole month of April has been one of excitement, discovery, merriment, fun and frolic. Today, in particular had been a great day. I, generally let life take over me and I take it as it comes. For the first time I have realized that may be I just didn't want to be a sheer spectator or a participant in my life even as life would offer a situation on a platter, I wanted to take control and yes I did. What a day! I never felt so free and never ever had I been so expressive in front of someone whom I didn't know much.

I am brimming with varied emotions. These emotions can only be felt and I am so overwhelmed that the words refuse to flow easily. I have not an iota of doubt that I would like to remember this month all my life. The consecutive events of enjoyment since the beginning till the end gives a sense of satisfaction and creates an array of pleasant memories.

Nothing remains constant. Yes I am aware.  I can imagine, all this will come to an end. But I am not dreading the end, since the trail has been so enchanting and beautiful. I could not thank enough to anyone and everyone who made my month of April appear just so lovely and wonderful.

                                               

                                                 THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! 

Day 3

With each passing day, my love for the city is multiplying. Three days in the city and my amazement knows no boundaries. Whichever part I go to, it holds me awestruck. This is my dream city. With high expectations I had come and I must admit the city hasn't disappointed me a wee bit. Today was also an exciting day for me. I went to a few remarkable quarters of the city. Varied experiences marked my day. Here are a few of them :

A brush with reality!

Yesterday, as I have mentioned in the earlier post, I had a pleasant experience in the locals. I didn't have to negotiate much with the situation. On the contrary, I had some real experience, though on a minuscule level. We had to get into the local train at Kandivali. It was half as crowded as in the rush hour. So it was still quite crowded for me. The announcement had been done that the local was about to enter the platform. As soon as the ladies heard it, they flocked together in a group. The local approached slowly and smoothly where they had formed a group. The train stopped and we found ourselves in the middle. Like a wave in the sea, we were rushed into the train. It was an effortless entry and I guess this is what happens usually. We found a place to stand near the gate. The next station threw another set of ladies inside. They all adjusted themselves in and around the gate. I did not however budge from my place as I wanted to have the feel. This was my real experience with the local train.

My camera ditches me !! 

Any trip has its own set of ups and downs. Without any glitches, you cannot have a trip complete. Yesterday I had recharged my camera's batteries. I thought I would be able to capture these moments from my first trip in Mumbai. Alas, I was in for a great surprise. While being in the local, I finally found a place to sit towards the end of the journey and what do I see? The train was running at its maximum speed. A lady's sari , due to the wind was getting to her knees. I thought if a girl had worn a skirt it would have easily been flown in the air. The lady then turned her back towards me and I noticed the reason why her sari had flown so easily upto her knees. She had been wearing a Marathi style sari. This was the first lady I had come across in real who was wearing sari in this style. I did not want to skip this moment. In a hurry, I took out my camera. But to only realise that it would not open at all and the rest of my trip would go unregistered in form of pictures. That was one turn off , momentary in nature but still...

Sight sea-ing!!!

Despite this glitch, I had an amazing day. The visit at Mahalakshmi temple and then seeing the sea and Haji Ali. We then savoured the picturesque beauty of Mumbai form the Hanging Gardens and oh what a sight it was. The next was a bus ride from Hanging gardens till the VT station. We rode along the sea , along the marine drive, drove through Fort, saw the RBI's Headquarters, The Asiatic Society's building that is now a library and finally we stopped at VT. Victoria Terminus or Chattrapati Shivaji Terminus as it is now known is an exquisite example of British architecture. This quarter in Mumbai makes you experience a foreign country in Europe. After exploring a bit more , we walked our way till Chirchgate and finally back to our place.

I have a strong attachment to places with sea. I could just sit and watch the waves come and recede. It's such an intense moment. The best to connect yourself with the nature and the best to experience your own self. 

This city is certainly one of the best in the countries as far as my top list is concerned. With each moment, my bond gets stronger with it. 

Day 2

On my second day, I used the services of almost all modes of transportation that Mumbai offers to its citizens. The Red coloured Best buses add to the colour of the city. I started my day by getting onto one of the BEST buses. We took it till Borivali railway station. As I had to go to Fort, we had no  other option but to take the local train. And I was all prepared for it.

We had already avoided the rush hour from 6 in the morning till 11. So it was almost a pleasant experience in the local. I also got the concept of Fast and Slow locals. It was such a nightmarish thought when I used to think about boarding a local train, but getting face to face with it today cleared of my head all my apprehensions. It wasn't as crowded as I had imagined.

At Churchgate, I discovered that there are no auto rickshaws that ferry passengers instead there are taxis, black and yellow in colour. My excitement level shot up when I spotted a Fiat black and yellow taxi. It isn't the car you would find in Delhi, not even as taxis. What a visual delight!!

 This was about the various modes of transportation. Now coming to the city, I must admit I am still awed by the city. In fact I am in love with this city that looks so vibrant , so lively. All its tall buildings feel as if they are keeping a watch over you and nothing could go wrong. 

Today I visited the South of Mumbai. And, what traces we have of the colonial times! You get transported back in time when the Britishers had them constructed and ruled over us. You also get taken away to a more Westernized part of the city. While roaming around I could almost feel that I was in England except that the population and the environment kept reminding me of Mumbai. I saw almost all of the tourist places. Beginning with Jehangir Art Gallery, Prince of Wales museum (of which we saw only the exteriors as it had got closed by that time), we then walked down till the Gateway which was closed for the public because of some ceremony of the Indian Navy, and right in front of the Gateway stood the TajMahal hotel, that still rings the memory of terrorist strike. We then hailed a taxi and went till Nariman Point. I was and I am still mesmerised with the skyscrapers. Just so many of them! We then walked down till the Marine Drive. My dream had finally come true. I had been dying to come to Marine Drive. Although I have been to a better version in Nice, Promenade des Anglais, but this had its own charm. Walking straight till Churchgate, I realised it was time we got back home. 

On my way back, we boarded the ladies compartment of the local train. While sitting there, it seemed I had already used its services since long. The pleasant experience of city's lifeline has instilled such confidence in me, I guess I could make use of its services on my own (not so certain about the peak hours though) 

I had a beautiful day in a dynamic, electrifying and animated city. And yes I am enamoured!!

Day 1 in my dream city

I reach Borivali. The train stops for 2 minutes. We get down in time. Our relatives are waiting for us. Borivali is just like any other small station. Nothing very imposing about the station I could make out. The station was sure crowded. People were hurrying their ways to board the local trains. We came out  and I saw a stream of auto rickshaws and BEST buses right outside. We hailed an auto. The first striking thing : unlike Delhi auto wallahs, Bombay's are very sincere in using the meter. There is no haggling involved. Wow!

We head to Borivali West. On my way, another eye-catching thing is the high rising buildings everywhere. In Delhi, the region I stay majorly has bungalows, not many skyscrapers. While on the contrary, wherever my eyes roam, I see tall residential buildings. These high rises cater to the demand of rising population in the city.

And the next thing which I notice is the congestion in the city. You wouldn't feel that you have ample space to relax or stretch your arms. In South Delhi, I have been habituated to wide roads, I feel and breathe though the polluted air. The reality is different here and I am not complaining. In fact, I am still in the awe of my dream city.

Tomorrow, I would take a local train. Let's see how awe struck I remain after my first rendezvous with it.

Bombay , enfin !!!

A long secretly harboured dream comes true as I step inside the August Kranti Rajdhani that would take me to my dream destination, city of dreams and hopes : Mumbai. For me, it still remains Bombay or Bambai. 

Uncertainty loomed large over my prospect of getting ticket to Bambai nagariya. I got a ticket after so much exasperation. At last, I had a sigh of relief with the ticket in my hand. 

Rajdhani leaves at Nizammudin at almost 5 in the evening. We kept on reminiscing of our last year's Pondichery trip, around the same time of year, an all women's trip and for the same purpose. Meanwhile, we were looking forward to this one. The only missing link on this trip is Baby. It's just the two of us unlike the last one where we were three.

I am excited to explore the city. The local train that is the lifeline of the city scared me earlier but I am now eagerly waiting my first brush with it. 

I don't know how would the city receive me and how would I take it. But now that I have reached here in Bombay, I am so delighted.

Is it me or IRCTC ?

Am I confused? Or is it really confounding? Or is IRCTC itself befuddled with how to function?

Now this is what is beyond my comprehension, the whole circuitous process of booking a Tatkal ticket. It is virtually a lottery system to book a Tatkal ticket. If destiny favours you and the Lady luck is on your side, you would be on cloud nine to get it booked.

Tatkal was a service introduced to facilitate passengers to get hold of tickets at end moment if some urgency presented itself that required them to travel. I really appreciate this effort but not until I got to know that IRCTC is a bit confused or maybe I am ignorant about its operations. 

Firstly, many a times there have been changes in the days when the Tatkal service would open. Long back, it used to start operating two days before the date of journey. At present, it opens a day before. I am not opposed to this idea. However, there is a point of contention.

Today, I was actually doing a recce of sorts on the website. I need to book a ticket tomorrow for Tatkal. The time it starts working is 10 o'clock in the morning. Due to my weak and almost non functional MTS datacard, any site wouldn't open. Moreover, as I stated earlier, it all depends on how fortunate you are that day. IRCTC gets so much pressure from anxious passengers to get their tickets booked that it also gives up and chooses a certain few to be the prize (ticket) winners. 

However, I should get straight to the point now rather than beating about the bush. In the afternoon, I checked Tatkal tickets for 1st of April, which under the regulations that I am aware of should open tomorrow at 10 in the morning. To my great surprise, there were trains flashing REGRET status in the screen for 1st as well as 2nd of April as if almost deriding me and my desperation to book tickets. 

Now, my mind is perplexed after what IRCTC has done with me and this I say with greater seriousness.

I thus pray to the higher Being IRCTC, to take pity on this lesser mortal and change my fortune tomorrow so that I get a message of the ticket on my phone with flying colours. Amen!!

Shaunak advises Yudhishtira that attachment is the root cause of all grief and happiness that we experience in life. The wise and learned keep themselves extricated from the chains of any kind of bond. 

This is what I read in Mahabharata. It seems so appropriate. Is it possible in this world inhabited by humans? Since childhood we tend to create a sense of attachment with what we are fascinated and we love. But what is this thing called love? 

What is love? My mind is befuddled by this question which at first instance looks like a simple one. Whatever is this emotion, I believe, it can only be named love if it is selflessly done. The only relationship that strikes me to be selfless in the world around me appears to be that of a parent and its child. This incorruptible love showered by parents is however not all the time reciprocated by their children. 

Love can also be expressed for the God Almighty. This is what have been voiced in the ancient texts. This love is for the Supreme Being, one who created the world and thus created us. One who left us into this vast ocean of humanity to get entangled in the relationships and thereon desire us to be free of all the bonds and connections we make.

In such a contrastive setup, what am I supposed to do?? 

I know you are there

As a kid, I was too smug. My surroundings did not concern me much. I was happy and content with what I had. And yes, I thanked you all the while for making my existence so smooth. But life is not a tale of niceties. Once taken birth on this Earth, one goes through a twining and twisting trail called life. I had you as my confidante all the time confiding in you, having my private dialogues with you even if you weren't present physically. I believe you are there. And it is this belief that makes one going. During the trials of life, no matter how hard be my predicament, I always look upto you for inner peace and strength. I haven't achieved the end yet though you have furnished me with the means. 

Though no one has seen you, you are there in everyone of us. Most of the times, I am unable to recognize you within me, attribute it to my ineptitude. However, I do perceive you within the wonderful parents and siblings you have gifted me. I am really well placed in this world. A world that manifests both negative and positive, I thank you in the earnest. 

And yet when I look back, I recall a few moments when due to lack of fulfillment of my infantile wishes, I harboured a feeling of getting away from everyone. How could I have ever thought of such a thing. I guess, I am being human. It is all but natural to experience varied sentiments and emotions in one's life. I know you will always be there not only for me but for all of us. I would like to be selfish here and put my family at the top rank to get your attention. No matter how dark and grim it becomes around me, a speck of optimism remains inside telling me constantly that you are there and I want you to be...

blurred vision

What is this life that we lead? Why are we here on Earth? What is our purpose to be fulfilled during our span of life? Is every single person able to accomplish his role in the scheme of this Universe? All such questions throng my mind a few times when I feel life isn't moving as I want it to. These intangible ideas in my head meandering inside, complicate my effort to understand the meaning of life. And, after a while when I reconcile with them, these questions seem to subside somewhere deep in my consciousness, ready to sprout again at any moment of despair I get into. 

Today, as I was getting back to hostel from my sister's place, on my way, I had been drowning in the swamps of guilt on a matter so trivial that it's not worth mentioning. I was constantly thinking about how I could have done , what I did, in some other way and would have been guilt free. Consequently I was led to some other direction. I wondered how we humans are puppets in the hands of God, harking back to some episode of the Mahabharata where Krishna himself reveals how everything that happens in the world depends on his will. This distant and vague remembrance was still making rounds in my mind as I realized someone had been honking from behind and my autowala  had slowed down his auto. I asked him what was the matter. As he told me, I saw it with my eyes : a soul free body being taken for the last rites by a few men. How my eyes welled up at this sight, is still unknown to me. I didn't know who had died. Was it a child, a girl, a boy, a man or a woman? It was a moment of  facing the ultimate truth. In a split second, you don't know where your soul has left for. 

These days, everyone is in a constant struggle to achieve something. This attainment hinges on the class or strata of society you belong to. The super rich find ways to be even richer. The poor try to make their ends meet. While the middle class looks upwards to the rich class and aspires to be like them someday. Material comfort has become the only truth that everyone wants to reach. No one seems to be satisfied with what s/he has. Of what use is all this strife, this monotonous struggle to acquire that which you would only take to your grave and not with your soul?

I wonder if I can ever understand why have I taken birth. 

Spring at our doorstep!!

After the rains, comes out the Sun. With all its brightness, it spreads over us. The sky is clear with patches of white cloud here and there. The wind that blows makes the leaves rustle. Some denuded trees have already witnessed their new leaves bloom. Some have still been waiting. Flowers have blossomed in all shades and hues. Squirrels run haywire in search of something to nibble. And we know, Spring is at our doorstep, visible everywhere.

Only yesterday night, the clouds so heavily laden had been thrusting water droplets on us.Morning is a different story. Sun rises with all its vigour. The cold wind contrasts against the warm, sunny day. It's a perfect Sunday morning to be out in the nature. Tempted to the core, I have decided to make full use of the privilege I have, being in a beautiful, verdant university campus. My mind wanders to the idea of near future when I would have to leave this place and would not be knowing if  I would ever be able to have these pleasures in the busy schedule of life. I bring my mind back to the present and get ready for my rencontre with the nature. Having packed my bag with books I head towards the DSW lawns. Well manicured lawns, trees, and a few round tables and benches, make it the best place to bask in the nature.

Except for a security guard and a few construction workers, no one is there. I have full freedom to select any of the benches. I occupy one which has a tall tree behind it at some distance. The tree is still awaiting all its leaves, so that the sunlight gets filtered and is mild on me. I set up my books on the table, take out my pencil bag, a bottle of water and a box of grapes that I had kept for myself. I start reading. It's such a delight to be absorbed in a book while you are in the lap of nature. Meanwhile, I notice, these squirrels who come near the bench while looking straight at me. When I move a bit, scared to the core, they run away, climb a tree and disappear. I look at the grapes' box. All of a sudden, I think of offering grapes to them. Many of them focus on the box when I open it. While I take out a grape, they seem lured. They come closer. However, they move back quickly. I throw the grape in their direction. One of them happen to catch my action of throwing and register in his mind. He runs in the direction of the grape. I am content that he will have it. But, he runs past the grape, sniffing at a distance. How could he have missed the grape? is what my mind thinks. He still cannot find it. Disappointed, he goes away. I decide to put it on a slab of brick. While I get back to my reading, a few moments later, I discover that this little squirrel has finally got hold of the grape. Relieved I am for him, that he has something to eat and for myself, that I could delight myself in watching him nibble. Squirrels are agile but I feel they are  myopic. They lack focus. Taking pity on them, I decide to get back into action and not leave my focus and continue reading.

It's been almost two hours. The Sun is right above my head. I can feel his harsh rays seeping into my skin. It is getting hotter. I have had my share of his benign presence. I choose not to extend it further. I pack my bag and make my way back radiating contentment of this morning's experience.

I DREAM

I dream

of a distant land

with the rising Sun,

the morning breeze

I breathe in.

A land

with a thousand flowers

offering themselves

to be my bed,

as I lay down.

And when night falls,

I dream of the stars

that blanket me soon

with their twinkling powers.

I lay there dreaming

of this distant land

with rising Sun,

the morning breeze 

that I breathe in.

In the sea of humanity,

a spirited soul,

with a quest of identity

and her role,

in the scheme of World

where millions reside,

curious to decipher

with dreamy eyes,

what purpose does it serve

to live our lives?

Je suis nuage

Je suis nuage. J'habite dans l'infini du ciel au dessus de la Terre. Tout le monde me regarde avec beaucoup d'envie. C'est parceque je suis libre. Je n'ai pas de limites. Je me promène où je veux. Je voyage partout dans le monde. Je suis immense, et hors de la  portée des hommes, cela aussi contribue à leurs jalousies. Ils ne peuvent pas m'atteindre. Cependant, ils me traversent très souvent dans leurs avions. De ma place, les gens apparaissent si petits. Ils ont une existence négligeable. Je me réjouis parfois à leur faire plaisir, quand ils en ont marre du soleil et parfois, je les agace avec beaucoup de pluie. 

        

            Je m'habille de différentes couleurs. Ma couleur préférée est le blanc. La plupart de temps, je me contente d'etre clair et calme. Mais, ce n'est pas habituel. Je change fréquemment de couleur. Je rougis parfois le soir et meme le matin. A ces moments, le soleil me prete sa couleur.  Cette générosité offerte de sa part, me fais rougir. C'est un ami. Je l'ennuie quelquefois en le cachant des yeux des Terriens. Il se fache de ma méchanceté, mais se calme tout de suite après. Ce n'est pas mon seul ami. Les oiseaux qui s'envolent font aussi mes amis. Ils m'apportent des nouvelles de la Terre. Ils me chuchotent dans les oreilles et je garde leurs secrets. Nous nous amusons beaucoup. Je les taquine aussi. Quand il pleut, ils n'ont pas le choix et ils cherchent d'abri. 

       

          Je prends de formes variées. Je ne le savais pas avant. C'étaient mes amis oiseaux qui m'avaient surpris un jour. Ils m'ont raconté comment les Terriens déclarent que je ne reste jamais dans une forme fixe. Je porte de l'eau avec moi partout où je vais. Quand je ne peux pas supporter les gouttes d'eau, je les laisse tomber sur la Terre. On me dit que les Terriens ne sont jamais contents. Lorsqu'il commence à pleuvoir après une période de chaleur insupportable, il me remercie de tout leurs coeurs. En revanche, s'il pleut des cordes, ils commencent à se plaindre. N'était-il pas ce qu'ils ont demandé au début? Je ne les comprends pas. Ils sont des etres bizarres. 

        

      Cependant, je ne perd pas de temps en reflichissant sur ces Terriens. J'ai d'autres choses importantes à faire. Je suis au mouvement presque tout le temps. Je traverse le monde. Il n'y a pas de coté où je ne suis jamais allé. J'aime bien la compagnie de mes amis. Je suis content de ma place dans cet univers. Je n'ai pas de regrets. Je respire de l'air fraiche. Je n'ai rien à plaindre. O les hommes de Terre, comme vous etes jaloux de moi!

Being in a socially active and conscious university campus is a prerogative that we, a certain selected students have. We have created our own class. We discuss ideas, debate the government policies, raise our voices against injustice that happens to the people across country and world. Our voices that often create a stir. But how all this consciousness that augurs well for our country, translates into a mass consciousness and does not remain in the confines of a few section,  is what disturbs me often.

The recent rape case that had seen people from everywhere coming together and protesting, seemed to have awaken the conscience of the common man. But did it reflect the real awakening? I doubt. I just came back from a talk, held on rape cases that happen in the nearby state of Haryana with Dalit women that go unnoticed. 

To quote Prof. Nivedita Menon's words " rape is not about sexual desire but about power, misogyny and punishment." While she was getting into the flow of her discourse, she presented a point of view on whether death penalty should be awarded to the guilty, a point I had been unable to see earlier. All this while, I had read in the newspapers and heard on TV, people advocating against death penalty because of the low conviction rates. But what Prof Menon happened to stress upon was the fact that rape should be treated as any other heinous crime. It is not a murder. The girl should have the courage move on and fight back against the one who attacked her dignity. This seems easier said than done. That is why we need to erase from our minds the stigma linked with rape victims. We, as a member of society, have the responsibilty to support and create in every possible way a conducive environment for such women. The guilty should be ashamed of his misdeed and not the girl. It then releases the girl and her family from the social pressure that they come under in these situations. 

This has been an issue debated since long. And there are various angles from which it needs to be looked at. We acknowledge that patriarchal ideas that have been prevalent in the society are one of the reasons for violence against women. My mind tries to seek an answer to the question " How are we going to propagate the ideas that we discuss in this academic set up to the common man?" How does the change come about that has to be in the patriarchal mindsets of people?? How do we take them out of these obnoxious crutches, they are too eager to hold? How?

What is it to be an art historian?

"As an art historian, you have to decode the story behind the painting or the sculpture", said the professor while enlightening us with the Buddhist art of ancient India. Art historian, I smiled at myself and wondered, would I be qualified to call myself an art historian at the end of six months, when I would have only touched very superficially in the course of 20 lectures the various art forms of India? The answer would be a strict no. How could I even dare to proclaim a territory as mine when I have not even mastered the fundamentals.

History of art is not just the accounts of various art forms at different epochs but concerns the social history of the period too. It is a way of revisiting the society prevalent at that time through art. Thus, what is art? Isn't it an expression of a personal or a collective consciousness reflecting the society? Atleast, this is what I have learnt within a span of 3 lectures that I attended in Art and Culture class. 

Until recently, and as a student in school, I had a strong dislike for ancient history. I had neither any curiosity nor interest in the empires that ruled for ages in my country. My History books would be fraught with details of innumerable kingdoms in various parts of India that controlled the Indian territory, much to my annoyance. Back then, I had no reason to remember those who might have been my ancestors, they were simply so far and distant. Besides, the factual details bombarded in the books never seemed fascinating. 

This attitude, however, has changed. The seed of interest in ancient past has been sown through my History of art classes. The lectures have been nurturing my interest. I discovered, how beautifully carved sculptures can be used to narrate history of ancient times or of any era. While learning the Buddhist art form, not only do we learn how the sculptures were done but equally essential is to learn its historical context. The moment the piece of art is denuded of its historical context, it remains no more than a piece of art, which could be admired only aesthetically. The historical framework adds a vision to the piece of art which becomes more relevant. It tells a story of the ways of living of people, their beliefs, that created a whole of a civilization. A story, which we have been carrying forward through ages. 

Today, while waiting for the lecture to begin, I overheard my fellow art historian, so to say, she was giving a reason for having chosen this course. She said, " This is wonderful, not just because you are learning about various art forms but it's like going back to the roots and knowing who you are." From then on these last words remain etched in my head. 

Impressions of Jaipur Literature Festival 2013

Finally the Lit Fest could extract from within me the desire ,the intent to write. This is going to be my first entry of the year.

Three years ago, I had read about the Literature Festival that was held in a nearby city of Jaipur. I was quite excited at that time. I had so badly wanted to attend the Festival, but because of this and that, the numerous reasons you create to pacify yourself, I had not been able to be a part of this literary festival. And each successive year as it was held in the month of January, I would make plans but the execution would remain equally elusive. But not this time. Determination, resolve and some motivation from my sister, who happened to be my partner in the Fest, finally led me to the until now heard of the Fest.

The decision was made. We were going to attend two days of the Fest. The speakers to be heard were chosen according to their theme of the session, some were preferred because of their popularity and Gayatri Spivak was chosen , as I had read of her in my book of Translation Studies. She was going to be my star speaker. 

 

We reached Jaipur on Thursday. The Festival had been inaugurated on the same day. We had not registered ourselves for the 24th , so we decided to explore the city a bit. The next day was the day of action. We reached Diggy Palace at around 11 in the morning. I had not created an image of the venue in my head before reaching there. And thankfully I was saved. The word 'Palace' always gives me an idea of a sprawling area with an immaculate palace with manicured lawns and which reflects the riches of the Royals. However prejudiced my notion of a palace is, Diggy Palace was nowhere to it. Nevertheless, it covers a huge area. Since, this Festival attracts people from all over, the decoration was emanating the essence of Jaipur and Rajasthan of being the most colourful state of India. The venue was colourfully decorated.

The Fest is one of the most popular fests in India. The crowd swarming inside the venue was a testimony of its popularity. However, I noticed ( I don't know how far it is true ) that the festival not only attracts as audience those who are really interested in listening to the speakers such as academicians, artists, teachers, budding writers, journalists, students, but also a lot of crowd was constituted of those who had come to take a feel of the Fest, have a look at the celebrities or just to have an outing and see the whole world that comes flocking to the city. I remarked that a lot of people, old, young, middle aged were carrying their cameras and not the digital ones (of course some of them like me had their digital ones intact) but the SLRs or the professional cameras. So it seemed to me that the festival presented itself as an opportunity of capturing the moment, practicing one's photography skills or simply showing of one's camera. 

Show off seemed to be another criteria of the festival though not intentionally done. The Festival was a platform for everyone to show their best of dressing available in the wardrobe. Some dressed in silk saris and kurtas, some in their western outfits, some casually dressed. But there was a sense of potraying oneself in the best outfit of their lives.The Nehruvian jacket which has become a trademark of the intellectuals, artists, academicians was to be seen very frequently too.  

Howsoever they were dressed, one could not keep apart their innate self from their beautiful attire. This is in reference to some cases ( and I hope there were only few, but I experienced it more than once) where people showed complete reluctance to behave in a proper way. With us, it happened for a real trivial issue of getting a seat. While I would not get into it, but I earnestly hope there were only a few instances. But there were those too who offered their seats to the elderly. The Festival gave an impression of a mini world where people from different nationalities had congregated.

The most important feature of the Fest is ofcourse the sessions that were held. There were book launches, there were writers who presented their books, there were social scientists, actors, lyricists, professors who created an atmosphere of exchange of ideas that led to a healthy discussion amongst the audience. The most remarkable session for me would have to be the one I attended on my first day that of Shabana Azmi and Prasoon Joshi where they discussed the Sex and Sensibility in Bollywood. It was quite an animated session as the gathering cheered both the speakers for their emphatic views on women's independence, the informed choices that they should make. Given the recent incident of gangrape in Delhi last year in December, this was quite a relevant issue. I wonder, however, while the ideas were discussed and the audience applauded the remarks of the speakers, how many of us have taken back with us these ideas for execution in real situations. Now that is where my doubt stems up. Nothing could challenge the credibilty of the Fest that it engenders so many ideas that wander in various directions. But what is the fate of all these wonderful ideas when the larger public does not really attempt to dig further.

The second session which was to my liking and that created a stir because of a comment by the renowned sociologist Ashish Nandy was that of Republic of Ideas. I reached a little late but when I reached it was Tarun Tejpal who had been speaking on the issue of corruption in our country. Then came the turn of Richard Sorabjee who as he claimed , was not an expert of the Indian context so restricted himself mostly to the United States. But the best part was really the one that Mr Ashish Nandy had fuelled an idea that seemed so out of place and irresponsible on his part. Ashutosh , the editor at IBN 7 , who happened to share the stage with him, was quick to castigate Mr. Nandy's ideas, much to the applause of the cheering audience. I didn't know that a FIR had ben lodged against Nandy until only I came back to my hotel. 

Some of you would be surprised that I haven't mentioned my star speaker's session as one of my favourites. I attended her session which was on reviewers and critics. I listened to her intently, understanding almost everything except when she talked of her work Can the sublatern speak? To be honest, I have not read it. I have read her only in the context of translation where we talk of the postcolonial translations. Because of my ineptitude in the domain of literary criticism, could not have an experience I wanted to have with my star speaker.

All in all, the Festival is an experience which enthuses you, instills in you new ideas, enhances your knowledge in one way or the other and provides you with various points of views which help widen one's horizon and not to forget gives you an opportunity to see, listen and interact with the famous celebrities of art, history and literature. While this was what the Festival was for me, I am sure others who attended would have their additions and subtractions in the list mentioned above.