It's been a while. Almost two years! So much has happened in these two years. Or maybe not.
Let me begin with things of the last year. There had been a pull towards exploring the higher realms of life, the higher self, knowing the self and the Self. Let me confess, I still am figuring things out. However, in this quest, I was attracted to the devotion that Krishna Das brewed within me with his songs. Devotion to the divinity , to the ultimate energy! I remember this one time, when in one of my rooms which I called the creative space, having no beds in there, only a mattress on the floor, I lay open my yoga mat, sitting there and would listen to his songs, while my parents would sit in another and watch news. There was a time when I played this one song again and again. Sitting in a slightly darkened room, on the yoga mat, and trying to focus on the lyrics, I realized tears started streaming down my cheeks. For me, Krishna Das' songs have that power to explore one's inner self or the higher self. I was amazed and delighted to know that something of this sort could happen to me. I would listen to this song every day almost, even while I would go for a walk . The song sometimes would play in my head randomly.
Those were the days, when out of the blue one day, I felt or rather this thought presented itself to me. So during those days, I would feel that every thing in my life was running smooth. And one day, another thought presented itself which told me that " as I was accepting the good days of life, I would have to accept even the bad ones." Well, I would not like to call them bad but rather slightly uncomfortable ones. I penned it down, the thought, in my diary.
Then, it so happened that I had another random thought which was about practicing giving away things that were dear to me. I think which was supposed to teach me accepting the "Impermanence" of things, circumstances or people in our lives. I also looked at it as practicing detachment. The idea was to offer someone something that I loved. It so happened that a friend of mine was visiting me and I thought why not begin with extremely small step in this direction of practicing detachment. When she was leaving from my place, I opened my earrings box to her and asked her to choose any ear ring that she would want to take for herself. She took one and left. It did not hurt as I had accepted the fact that she would take any one of those. It was all about acceptance.
Immediately after , an episode of extreme emotional upheaval took place in my life and I connected the dots. I later thought to myself that these were not random thoughts. They were deliberate. The universe was telling me about what was to come next. And it came. And, I had never ever been so badly impacted emotionally, not even then when I had a heart break. This was something else. This was the onward journey of my father who left us all last summer.
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