I wake up in the morning
to a clear sky,
trees are still,
their leaves shy.

A little later,
what I see,
is quite amusing to me
and adds to my glee.

An army of clouds
has captured the sky,
with their wings spread out
I let out a sigh.

I then climb the stairs
to be on the terrace,
No! these aren't going to rain,
so aren't a menace.

A lone airplane from the horizon comes,
makes its way through the clouds,
singing its song, carrying passengers,
it feels proud!

I then turn around
to the other side of clouded sky,
three birds in a trail
("Are they sisters ?"), fly.

The silent leaves
no more remain.
Flowing with the morning breeze,
trees show off their mane.

Towards east I turn,
clouds get an orangish hue,
morning Sun is still their hostage
and is out of my view.

There is a wee bit of a chill in the air,
Weather is on its way to a change
I wonder if it's a regular affair.
Sure, from now on, it's going to be autumn. Nothing strange!

You have put in

so much of trust,

when I am 

made of lunar dust.

My source of light

comes from the Sun,

Ode for whom,

you have written none.

I only revolve

around the Earth,

How do I then evoke

in you such mirth?

Distant as I am

in the space,

Why have you 

bestowed on me this praise?

A hearty smile
you bring
on my face,
enamoured, I am
by your soulful grace,
that moment
lingered in your embrace,
when you slowly
put behind the repeated chase,
and emerge out
of the reigning clouds,
you lay to rest
innumerable doubts.
I dance to the tunes
of the gentle breeze,
this instant that
I have seized,
not knowing whether
you remain or leave,
my unswerving faith
makes me believe,
your radiance
that eludes tonight,
shall immerse me completely
in the brightest of lights
when you come forth
within a fortnight.

Here they come,
with pearls within,
veiling the blue sky.

Leaves rustle
along with the wind,
bringing some more
from faraway distance.

Changing their hue,
from subtle to the deepest,
they ignite hope
of the unsatiated.

On the terrace,
facing heavenwards,
with arms stretched wide,
a silent prayer leaves my heart.

Next moment,
they drop a pearl
on my palms.
'Is it going to stay for a while?', I question

Then comes the answer
showering on me
with all vigour
making me as content as I could be.

Dreary June? Not anymore!!

Completely immersed in my thesis writing, editing, correcting, I thought I wouldn't be able to write my June month's entry. I had nothing so far to give me that zing and inspiration that makes ideas float in your head and words flow smoothly. All this happened quite spontaneously. Spontaneous, instinctive, impromptu, they are just not my words. However, in the beginning of this year, I resolved to myself being just that. So far I have  not been so good, but not that bad either.

So I went to visit my sister for a while when I felt I had been a little less burdened by the pressure of work. I go to her place only when I am in a mood to relax. There are so many distractions there: my sister, who is also my best friend, her daughter, who is the cutest child I have seen so far, the television which I don't see at my hostel. (I love watching televisions), the homemade food that I seldom get to eat at the mess. All of this certainly doesn't create the right environment to toil hard. However, this time I had been carrying the laptop, my workstation with me to feel comforted and less stressed. In fact, the idea was to challenge myself to work in such a comfortable zone. In the meanwhile, I had set some deadlines for myself to finish it before my birthday so that I could just feel as free as people who don't have their Ph.D submissions.( I know there are other people with other kinds of stress but I am only interested in the type I am subjected to right now.)

You must be thinking by now, where is spontaneity? And how and where does the enthusiasm that I had been lacking this month come from? Okay. Day before yesterday, my sister made a proposal to me. No! To be precise my brother-in-law and she, they both asked me to join them for their trip to Rishikesh. I knew they had some kind of plans earlier but I never pictured myself in that trip as i was only engrossed in my thesis. So what goes on in my mind when the proposal has been thrown at me? I always think I have two sides. In fact, everyone has it. So, my first side knew that I had always imagined going to Rishikesh, exploring the white sand bank of the Ganga, just lying there in the lap of nature ( I even have a secret plan for the white sand banks, Ganga in the moonlit night which is not so secretive after all, a few friends do know about it!!) The other side, quite strong and firm in resolve knew that I had a lot to do to meet my deadlines so the tussle began. And then my brother-in-law reminded me of my Anokhe Anubhav, my sister reminded me of my secret plan and this determined and resolute side of mine started melting and just became one with the side which had been pushing me to say a yes instantly. All this happened in span of five to ten minutes . That was quite spontaneous by my standards.

So here I am in Rishikesh today, sitting in this café situated at some height overlooking Ganga that is flowing with passion so inviting that I just want to be right there at its bank. The breathtakingly beautiful sight of mountains with trees on one side, with Ganga next to it following its course, besides the road on the other side and me sitting in this place, seeing everything from above, motivates me so much that this entry comes right after finishing my editing of one of the chapters. Everyone else is sleeping as they are tired and so much sleep deprived. But I just could not resist the temptation of sitting by Ganga though at some height from it and just feel its magic. The whole moment is truly unparalleled.  

What is life, reverberates in my head when I get up this morning. Random thoughts fly in my head. I don't realize why have I come up with this question when everything around me seems to be in its perfect position. But once this avalanche of stray thoughts slows down a bit, I become aware why has it been there this whole question of the meaning and purpose of life.

In a recently read article, the author advised not to mingle with anyone else's business in life and consequently happiness and contentment will follow you. She had simply divided the whole scheme of interaction in the world to three kinds of business. The first one she called God's business where we have no control at all. The second was 'your' business or let's say others' business. Others here includes everyone except you. And the final category was 'my' business. I was not at ease with not mingling with anyone's business. If my business doesn't come in contact with others' business then, I don't think I will be worldly at all. To attain such contentment, to my mind appears just one way and that is leaving all your worldly associations. To dissociate from the web of worldly connections is the strength of a few. But, my mind questions yet again. Will I be happy when I get free from the clutches of all the earthly bonds and ties? What is the purpose of life? I can't figure out how am I supposed to feel, if I need to be the way I am right now , materialistic, affected by my environment and surroundings or be free in the real sense of the word.

A few days ago, one of my friends lost his father. When I hear of death, I think of my associations. And then I feel, it is such a waste of time fighting, quarreling, being jealous, getting angry, not talking at all to someone whom you loved at some point of time. What will be the end result? Everyone has the same fate. It is just the way you reach the concluding chapter of life or perhaps the new beginning( I have no clue) that might differ. But it again comes back to the meddling of businesses. We are so badly entangled in this labyrinth that sometimes I am forced to think that we are actually condemned to live our lives. For the ones who leave us, they are free of all the associations but the ones who are left, we are the ones who need to carry on. What is this life then and what is my purpose in this wide worldly web?

Mission Incomplete!!

So yesterday was a tiring day for me. After my tennis match in morning, I had to get going for the last day of the workshop that I had been attending for past two days. The workshop was not at all linked to my area of study, but as I am fascinated by the whole concept of conservation of cultural heritage, I decided I would attend it anyway and it was for free, all the more reason to be there. So this workshop was on Conservation of Oil Paintings. I have no background of Oil paintings or for that matter any kind of paintings. Even though, only for my fascination's sake, I went ahead. And thankfully, it turned out to be so interesting. I, however, do not know whether I would be actually able to bring to use all the information I gathered. But atleast I have the basic knowledge about the structure, deterioration, reinforcement of the paintings. 

After we finished the last session, and after having thanked all the facilitators, we decided to go to the close by Lodhi Gardens. Four of us had never seen it before. We walked, chatted, exchanged stories, giggled, made fun of each other (I don't know about others but I did it a few times ) and then was the moment to come back home(hostel). 

By the time I had come back I was already too tired for anything. However, I decided to continue with my routine to go to the library and do some work. I had the special dinner they gave, which I didn't feel was that special. And then went to the library. I thought after having taken bath, I was re-energised to study. To some extent I was but I knew I would not be able to bear it for long. I tried concentrating on the laptop's screen. For a while I was there, a little later though, I found myself dozing off. I realized I had to get and sleep. Also, because I had to get up early for the tennis match I had.

Before going to bed, I reminded my friend of the upcoming loss of today's match. Or was it a way to motivate myself that I had to win. Whatever it was! So, I get up this morning, not that enthusiastic about defeating my opponent. Well, we reach the tennis court, start practicing. All the shots I play are not at all up to the mark. one backhand shot (even though I was playing tennis) goes for a six as in cricket. So I am definitely not in my element today. We decide to start playing the match. As the tradition goes, I start serving first. My first game score is not at all encouraging, 0-15, 0-30, 15-30, 15-40 and finally I lose it to make the score look like 0-1. 

It is my opponent's turn to serve. It seems like we have an unsigned pact that we will lose the games we serve for. So he loses this game to me, and the score gets to 1-1. I am satisfied with the score and am continuously motivating myself to play well. 

The next two games are just wonderful, because this has never happened before. I take the lead 2-1, and then 3-1. I am quite delighted with the score, but I know I have to keep up the rhythm that I have got into. Well that is what is the most difficult to do. Even though I didn't let it slip away easily from my hands, I finally lose the match. Where once it had been 3-1, it gradually becomes 3-3. And afterwards, my friend rises up to win the set by 3-6. Nevermind, I will do better next time. This is what I tell to myself. But I am happy with a few shots I played. You can in fact feel the shots that are well played. As the ball drops into your court, you reach out for it, you bring your racket to the exactly right place and as the ball hits the string, the sound it produces , you know that it is going to be a good shot anyway.(For the great players, it's always like that, but someone like me , who plays more shots out of the court than within it,is a great achievement). So my mission is yet not accomplished. Shall succeed soon I guess!!